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All Deviations


A dark room. A single spotlight, focused on a dissecting slab. A body draped with a white tarp lies on the slab, cold and still. Around the slab are a number of trolleys, most piled with bottles of strange, gurgling liquids, with tubes leading from one bottle to another. One trolley, however, had hanging from it a frightening assortment of knives, clamps, forceps, saws, scissors and scalpels, most of them still stained with blood.

It was from this trolley that the Professor selected a tool that would be suitable for the gruesome task ahead. He turned to the others in the room – two assisting Doctors, and his personal Clerk who would be recording their progress. He gestured to the Doctors, and like synchronized clockwork they made for the head of the slab, one standing on either side and began to roll down the white cloth, uncovering the unmoving form that lay beneath.

Looking at the motionless form in front of him, the Professor grimaced at thought of the task disgusting task that lay ahead of him – surely a man of his position deserved better than to be saddled with this! Nevertheless, he had a job to do so he might as well get the whole filthy process over and done with. Sneering, he lowered the scalpel he’d selected earlier into the fleshly abdomen of the Subject, and blood began to seep from the wound…

Suddenly, the subject’s chest swelled with a spasmodic gasp, with such violence that the Professor recoiled with alarm, dropping the scalpel which hit the tiled floor with a harsh clatter. The Clerk, the two Doctors and the Professor watched in dumb horror as the pale form of their Subject wrenched itself into an upright position on the table; then, with supernatural speed its forelimb flashed out and gripped the Professor’s working hand, so tightly and viciously that it made the Professor wheeze with pain. The Subject gave a few sharp jerks, and there was the sickening crack of bone, accompanied by the Professor howling like a wild beast…
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Submitted: September 18, 2007
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Author's Comments

Basically, I'm trying to write a steampunk/sword 'n' sorcery type novel, and I'm getting nowhere fast :/ I hoped that some feedback on the first page or so to see if I'm headed in the right direction. Even if the comments are negative, I'm gonna try to continue with this, simply because I need to. Long story.
Anyway, I'm thinking that if I do manage to continue to write this, I might choose to put it up online, along with doodles I've done to help my "creative process".
If you're wondering what this story is going to be about, it's not gonna be too hard -- just look at my past submitions and favs and you should quickly see a pattern form
Please comment if you view. Thanx
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~needs-a-bullet:iconneeds-a-bullet: Sep 19, 2007, 12:35:30 AM
0_o interesting. In you were going for ambiguity, it could have been a little more ambiguous, although I'm generally just a fan of stories that keep you guessing. A good introduction, seemed a little flat in some areas, but I couldn't offer on how to help that, so just keep up the great work ^_^ Improve by doing.

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[link] < JOIN TEH BIMBOS >:D
[link] < You don't hafta click here. Tis kay, I wouldn't recommend it, but the thought of 'what if?' will forever eat your soul......
~Manga-in-a-Bottle:iconManga-in-a-Bottle: Sep 19, 2007, 5:28:24 AM
Well, thanx for commenting anyway. :/ This is really only a rough draft, so I'll try to keep improving however I can

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Illegally sane
~needs-a-bullet:iconneeds-a-bullet: Sep 20, 2007, 12:29:23 AM
For a rough draft, I have to say it's pretty good then.

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[link] < JOIN TEH BIMBOS >:D
[link] < You don't hafta click here. Tis kay, I wouldn't recommend it, but the thought of 'what if?' will forever eat your soul......
~Manga-in-a-Bottle:iconManga-in-a-Bottle: Sep 20, 2007, 1:30:11 AM
Wish me luck...

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Illegally sane